Does Not Compute
by Little Fortune Cookie
Summary: Finding yourself isn’t exactly the easiest thing to do, especially when the pieces of you are spread across town. That’s exactly the situation that Canti is in, but what he doesn’t know is that he’ll find himself in the most unexpected way.


**Authors Note: **Finally...after three weeks of working on it...a long absence from Fanfiction and seven word document pages...it's done. My FLCL story. If some of you haven't figured it out, this story is about Canti, who I love oh so much. I would like to thank Project Shadow from helping motivate me huggles tightly Also, I do not own Canti, or any other characters in this story; except for Lucy, becaues I made her up. I hope you all enjoy!

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**Does Not Compute - Chapter 1: Normal Malfuntion**

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Booting system…

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Scanning programs…

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Memory chip…check

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Optical mechanics…check

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Motor mechanics…check

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Weaponry…check

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Auditory chip…check

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All systems…check

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Scanning complete

Everything was black when he woke up, like it was every morning. A small whirring and combination of clicks came from his light blue, mechanical form as the series of words appeared on his viewing monitor and he began to turn himself on. The once lifeless, black screen then turned to a deep, artificial blue and the immediate scenery that the robot was welcomed with was an off-white room; an old desk in the corner, a door, one power jack, a cardboard box, the ceiling fan, and the window were all that filled the barren atmosphere. The room itself was located in the back part of the house, isolated from the rest of the living quarters and also without the luxury of a heater, not that he needed it though. He had not been given the room; rather, he had made it his own by his presence and use of it at night, the electrical socket was all that he really needed so that he could charge himself.

He stood up, his tall form almost being able to reach the ceiling, looking out the window he could see that the sun was just rising behind the Medical Mechanica base and the sky being stained with a light yellow hue. The robot exited the room and went into the hallway, a small trail of dust following as it fell off his head; being able to be seen from the rays of sun cutting through the hall. He didn't expect anyone to be awake, which is exactly what he found. He could hear Shigekuni and Kamon snoring loudly in their rooms and Naota usually didn't wake until ten minutes before school started.

The lights were all off as he entered the kitchen, the light glow of the morning rays crept through the window and hit the various surfaces of the interior of the house; the counters, sink, and floor was spotless since he had cleaned them last night. A list of current chores ran down the screen that made up his face: prepare breakfast, wash clothes, make bread, dust, record Kamons' show (6:00 pm), and prepare dinner. As the list ended, the robot looked about the kitchen and decided to make breakfast first since it was the most logical thing to do. Shuffling over to the fridge he began to gather the ingredients necessary, wanting to make a traditional breakfast of eggs, bacon, toast, hash browns, and tea. Though in his search, it was realized that no eggs or bread were to be found, the latter being peculiar since this was a bakery. The blue machine processed the data and confirmed that he should go to the store, that way he could grab the other food that was absent in the culinary unit.

Nodding to himself, the robot went back to his room and opened one of the drawers to his desk with a forceful tug, the reason being because the contents in the drawer weighed a substantial amount, the contents of the drawer having so much mass was a numerous amount of coins. Kamon always gave him money in order to purchase groceries and other such supplies, never asking for the change back even when offered. Kamon didn't believe in keeping the leftover coins. "_It just keeps people down and there's already too much of it in the world, too many useless things_", the robot however, did like them. He liked the way the small pieces of metal shimmered in the light, and preferred them over the flimsy pieces of paper that humans seemed to take pride in owning. Snapping out of his train of processing, he looked down to the many coins in the drawer and began sifting through them, picking out the quarters in order to make the paying process quicker. For some reason humans always got upset with him whenever he paid in coins, why did they always have to be in such a rush? He kicked the drawer shut, then pulling his blue-green jacket out of another, and after putting it on, headed out the door to the grocery store. He did not need the jacket, for he was not able to 'feel' temperature changes, he wore it more out of habit than anything else and possibly so that it made him look more human…of course that was difficult to do when you were a seven foot tall robot.

Once exiting the Nandaba household, and clutching the quarters in one of his large hands, the screen of the robot turned towards the sun and his destination. The store was about half way across town, having to go past Naotas' school and the train tracks in order to get to it. The morning mist was beginning to burn away from the penetrating warmth of the sun and thin at the mountainous regions lining the horizon of Mabase; some of it still lingering in the shadowed parts of the waking city. His step did not falter as he began his trek and as he travelled through the quiet city tiny droplets began to form at the base of his 'mouth' and at the broken tips of his shattered head.

The trip there usually took no longer than fifteen minutes and during that time he took the opportunity to watch people as they went through their morning routine to their jobs and scheduled lifestyles. He heard at least three alarm clocks on his way to the store, almost got run over by a car that was backing out of a driveway whose driver obviously hadn't had his fuel the humans called 'coffee', and gaining a few odd looks from people stepping out their front doors. He was used to the staring; many people did, even if they had seen him every day.

The high school was quiet as he passed it, a few students were gathered in the commons area, girls mostly, all of which huddled together and whispered hushed words of awe and rumors when the tall mechanical man passed the school entrance. "Isn't that Naotas' robot? Why is it walking out here on its own? It's so weird. I heard that it goes crazy sometimes…" They all cast a cautious glance towards him; he heard them of course, but saw no point in responding…it would just scare them.

As he came to the railroad crossing he stopped at where the tracks were located, looking both ways before making his way past it. The train never came by here during this time, only at the times of midnight, eight in the morning, and four in the afternoon. The robot had it programmed in his head that it was better to be cautious than a piece of scrap; but many people considered him that already.

After finally getting to the store his screen was moist with little droplets so it looked like, if it were even possible, he was sweating. Sensing the abnormal amounts of moisture, he lifted his arm and wiped the collected water off with the sleeve of his jacket. He looked up to the sign of the store which displayed the name 'Gokurousan Quickie Mart' then entered. A soft beeping sound went off as he entered the building, and the automatic doors whooshed closed after a few seconds, he looked back and stared at them, he never could get used to them…they were so cool!

Scanning the store, he located the aisles that the food he needed would be on then went over to the stacks of plastic grocery baskets, grabbing one, but then reaching a dilemma…he couldn't hold the coins and the basket at the same time, how would he grab the food? A light bulb appeared on his screen as a solution to his problem was created; being as careful as he could, he tilted his hand and put the coins in the basket…little did he remember that there were slits in the bottom of it which sent a majority of the coins clattering to the tile floor. A series of alarmed clicks, beeps, and chirps came from the large robot as he distressed over the fallen coins, he looked around frantically and began picking them up so as to hide his klutzy mishap, only to have others fall out of the base of the basket during his effort. A low beep came from him in defeat as he was quickly overwhelmed by the numerous amount of coins. Looking down at the floor, the gears turned and another idea struck him, he slowly but surely began to file the many coins into the pockets of his jacket; now perfectly content with his brilliant idea.

By the time he was done there was a line of people waiting behind him and wanting to get into the store. He hadn't let anyone pass him while he was picking up the coins for fear of having them step on them; his pockets were bulging as well. When the robot was finally done with his 'menial' task, the now grumpy humans pushed past him while mumbling quiet insults to themselves such as "Stupid robot" or "Idiot".

Shrugging off the negative remarks, the metal man made his way through the store, a steady jingling coming from him as the coins swayed and bumped against each other; this caused many people to stare, but he didn't care. Going down the selected aisles of the store, he made sure to grab the eggs and bread, three different kinds since all the Nandabas had different tastes; Naota liked wheat, Shigekuni liked sourdough, and Kamon liked white. He also grabbed some milk, two percent since Naota didn't like the taste of regular milk, he said it tasted too fatty. Next came a vegetables, lunch meat, noodles, and some Little Prince Curry; making sure to get plenty of mild curry for Naota and himself. Even though he was a robot and didn't need to eat, he enjoyed eating, and curry was pretty much the only thing he could consume because of his lacking mouth. Having obtained the necessary items to purchase, the robot began to make his way back to the front of the store, then once seeing the check out counters, went towards counter number two; it was his favorite number, he didn't know why, but for some reason it was.

As he came to the checkout counter, a polite and perky, female voice entered his audio sensors. "Ohaiyou goizamasu Canti-san, I see you're shopping for groceries this morning" Canti looked up to see a girl, somewhere around the age of nineteen, with light brown hair which was tied back into large braid and bangs which parted and spread symmetrically on each side of her face. Her caramel eyes shimmered in the morning light and her soft, sincere smile would welcome anyone into its harbor. She had a slender physique which went perfectly with the Gokurousan uniform; a white long sleeve, collared shirt with a short, navy blue skirt and a light lime green and white horizontally striped apron that went over it all. Her name tag was a plastic circle with a navy blue lining to match the skirt and the name "Lucy" carved into it in black lettering. The only jewelry that she adorned was a small necklace that was delicately balanced on her smooth skin, the necklace being a simple a black string that had a silver kanji that Canti recognized as standing for 'sheep'.

The monitor lifted up in recognition and Canti quickly rushed up to the counter where the girl was, waving ecstatically to her once he got there. A trickle of laughter fell from her form and she continued to smile politely, "It's good to see you too. What are we purchasing today?" She leant over the counter to take a look in the basket, only to have Canti place each item on the conveyer belt for her to scan. She watched him with a kind smile, she was always humored by the way he did things with care and attention to detail; whether it was laying out the food, going down the aisles, or picking out a flavor of gum. It was almost as if he were thinking of everyone else and their opinion before he made a decision, but to a less philosophical person he would be considered indecisive.

Lucy shook her head lightly and began to scan the food items, then decided to start a small conversation with the tin man, as she did every time that he came in. "I saw your little accident with the coins when you came in", she cast her eyes from the focused and diligent work she was doing over to the robot; there was a teasing glitter within them which would send any man in its line of fire shooting off like a rocket, but Canti was no man. Though he was able to express his embarrassment by rubbing the back of his broken head and a light glow of pink appeared on his screen just above his mouth piece, this caused a small bit laughter to come from the girl, and her sweet smile to stretch even wider. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about, I'm sure other people have been in similar situations", her words reassured him and he returned to his normal, relaxed stance while she returned to her scanning.

Staring at the register as it steadily counted the amount he was due to pay, Canti then began to carefully take the quarters out one by one as the amount grew. When she was done ringing up the amount, a small whirring came from the register and the receipt printed out in a curled scroll. Lucys' bright eyes adjusted to the robot once more and in a polite tone she stated his bill, "That will be thirty-five dollars and seventeen cents". She then noticed his little antic and had to bite her cherry chap stick covered lips in order to keep from laughing, tapping into her unlimited amount of patience, she waited until he was done and smiled as he pushed the one hundred and forty-one quarters towards her. Lucy was still on the verge of laughter, but hid it well. "Thank you for paying in quarters today", she cast him another teasing glance which made the pink glow on the screen return and also caused his memory banks to bring up the time he decided to pay a twenty dollar grocery bill with nothing but pennies and nickels, the manger wasn't too happy with Lucy after that. "Your change is eight cents", those words broke his train of processing as he was handed his change and receipt then placed them in his now empty pocket.

The checkout girl quickly and without any hassle was able to place the numerous quarters in the register, and for the ones that wouldn't fit she began to place in coin rolls that she had at-the-ready for whenever Canti came in. She did not mind doing such things as this because it always seemed worth it to her, Canti was so sweet and he really meant well, he would also bag the groceries while she would roll up the coins. Even the times when she would finish packaging the currency before he completed bagging he would insist that he do it himself, she figured it was his way of making up for his unnecessary source of payment.

Shaking her thoughts away with a graceful nod of her head, Lucy realized she was done rolling the quarters and Canti was just putting the eggs in the bag. Another soft smile graced her face as she watched him finish; a quick chirp came from the speakers placed just behind the grille of his 'mouth', signifying that he was done. She nodded and gave a small bow to the tall mechanical man. "Thank you for shopping at Gokurousan, we hope to see you again, have a nice day", her sweet words seemed to ring out through the store.

The robot returned the bow with one of his own then paused to stare at the girl, not in a rude way, but rather studying her or as if he was thinking of whether or not to say something important to her; even though he could not talk. He was like this for a moment longer before a small click came from his form. Grabbing his five plastic bags, three on the left hand and two on the right, he made his exit. The store let out another soft beep as he passed through the doors, as if saying a goodbye to him in its own way.

He made his way through the town once more, coming to the train tracks whose poles were now lowered in warning, the alternating red light accompanied by the constant ring. Canti watched the light, waiting for the train that he could see in the distance to pass before a flicker of movement was detected in his motion sensors. Turning his attention to the other side of the train track, he saw a boy and a girl, a couple who couldn't be past their mid-twenties, holding each other closely and oblivious to the world. He watched them silently and curiously, tilting his head to the side and captivated by their actions.

The boy had his arms wrapped around her waist where her long, black hair almost reached and the girl had her arms wrapped around his neck as she stared into his eyes. They were both smiling and they both looked happy. A glint passed through their eyes as they began to lean in and another small click came from the robot as he watched them so intently, he couldn't take his monitor away from them for some reason. Canti was then immediately interrupted as the train passed between him and the couple, making him jump in surprise and nearly drop his groceries. Calming down quickly, he looked to the end of the train and saw that it was rather long, he brought his attention back to the couple who he could see only brief glimpses of now; and by the looks of it they were exchanging what the humans called a 'kiss'.

He began to wonder what it felt like…to have someone that close to hold and to look at. Canti could be considered what you would call a 'lonely' robot, but he did not understand the concept of being in love…though he knew that he longed for someone that he could be with. He had Lucy…but he only saw her when he went to the store, and he had too many chores to do to spend his entire day at Gokurousan. The mechanical man looked down at the wheels of the passing train as a low beep came from him; he supposed that what he wanted was a friend.

The robot was then brought out of his thoughts by silence, looking around frantically only to see the poles had lifted, the train was gone, and the couple he had been watching was now walking away hand in hand. He stared at them in for a few more moments until they turned a corner; at the last second the girl had passed her glance from her boyfriend over to Canti, as if just realizing he had been standing there, a light smile coming to her face before she disappeared around the corner, possibly never to see him again. It took the metal being a greater amount of will than normal to make himself turn away from where the couple had gone, he wanted to see more, but his navigation system quickly told him to get back home since it was off his thinking of going off course, he had wasted enough time.

As Canti made his way back home, he passed the school once more; there were a lot more students now. He could not see the girls from earlier today, nor did he see Naota within the groups of children. The ten minute warning bell then rang and there was a large shift as the teens made their way into their respected classes; it was now eight 'o five and Naota would be late…again. The metallic being turned away from the school and off towards the Nandaba household unaware of the pair of dark green eyes staring at him. A purple haired girl watched him as he left, then huffing slightly, she'd be sure to give that robots owner a good lecture about being late when he got to school.

The mecha was just making his way up the street of the Nandaba house as a he heard the rushing of feet, looking up he saw Naota running as fast as he could towards him, a blue jacket on and a tan hat. "Canti! Why didn't you wake me up this morning?! And you didn't even make my lunch!", the robot held up the grocery bags for his reason and heard the boy grumble as he rushed past, trying to make it to school on time. Canti was used to such remarks, especially from Naota, so he only watched after the boy before shrugging it off and going inside.

He put away the groceries and prepared breakfast, Shigekuni and Kamon were wondering what took him so long but did not complain when the hot, home-cooked meal was placed in front of them. The quickest way to shut a Nandaba man up was through his stomach, nobody knew that better than Canti. The metal man washed the dishes once they were handed to him and went through his daily chores of washing the clothes, folding them, making bread for the bakery, making lunch, dusting, and being sure to place his jacket and the leftover coins back in his room. Throughout the week, Canti had a number of large jobs that he would do on a weekly basis, today was Friday so today he dusted; Monday he vacuumed, Tuesday he washed the bed sheets, Wednesday he beat the rugs, Thursday he cleaned the windows, Friday he dusted, and the weekends he would get off. He did all these things without complaint, choosing not to create any conflict or disrupt others daily lives, he was used to being told what to do.

When Naota came home from school he deliberately avoided talking to or coming in contact with Canti until it was time for dinner, in which time Kamon called him to come down and eat. It was curry tonight, with rice, rolls, and tempura. There were nights where the family would eat in silence, meals had become quieter ever since Haruko left; it had now been four months. Tonight, however, had conversation, Kamon being the one to initiate it. "So Nao, how was school today?", his usual, inquisitive tone made you think that he was trying to get to the bottom of something, or knew some awful rumor that was going around about you, it also tended to drive his son up the wall.

"Fine…" Naotas' nonchalant tone showed his disinterest in talking, but his fathers' persistence was stronger.

"I bet you're excited about summer vacation right? Only a month away!" apparently his dad was more enthused about summer than he was.

"I guess…hey Canti, why'd you have to go and walk by the school this morning, huh? Ninamori gave me an earful when I got into class! Right in front of everybody! I thought I told you not to walk around town like that."

"C'mon Nao, be reasonable, TV boy here was just getting our food. Hey, by the way…did you record my show?" the robot nodded as he saw he was being referred to then went back to quietly consuming his curry.

"But people are spreading rumors that that thing is running wild! And people stare at me all the time! It's weird!!" the boy pointed his chopsticks accusingly towards the robot, causing him to look up questioningly.

"Don't make everything about _you_ Naota…"

"I'm not!! Stop acting like nothing's wrong!" The monitor looked back and forth as the father and son bickered, then to Shigekuni who was eating his food silently and not intervening, grumbles being able to be heard as he ate; obviously he was not impressed with his son and grandsons behavior. Drooping his head down in a sigh, the metal man stood up and began to move towards kitchen when Shigekuni raised his bowl up to him so that he could take it away. Canti did so and entered into the kitchen while Grandpa looked over to the two bickering 'men', he grunted in disapproval then got up and left the room to leave the two to their argument.

The rest of dinner went on without any significance, the father and son had been arguing for about ten minutes until they had completely forgotten why they were fighting in the first place then brought all the dishes and food into the kitchen for Canti to take care of; which he did. Cleaning the dishes was actually one of Cantis' favorite jobs, he found whenever too much information was disrupting his normal processing rate that cleaning the dishes it seemed to calm him down; it was also one of the only jobs of the house where he came in contact with water. Being a robot, many people would think that he would avoid water as much as possible, but Canti actually liked the feeling of he compound liquid.

After he finished putting away the dishes and leftover food, the bot made his way into his room where he sat down and began to power down. There was no light source in Cantis room besides the natural light from outside and the artificial light coming from his screen, so a majority of the time in his room was spent in darkness. It was now ten at night and the moon resembled a thin, luminescent smile, the last purple hues of the sunset also melding away into the night sky, being replaced by a few twinkling stars; this was a city after all, stars were a treat.

As the last few moments of power passed, Canti took the time to briefly overview his day, taking the time to take note of important events of the day and putting them into his memory banks. Tomorrow would be different however, it was Saturday after all, he got to do whatever he wanted, and what he had in mind was what he did every Saturday…look for the missing pieces of his head. With that last thought, the robot completely powered down and the blue screen faded into black, sending the room into darkness.

In the stillness of the night, the moon held its position high in the center of the sky, signifying that it was near or just after midnight. There was nothing but blackness in the room but a faint glow began to illuminate it, then fading and lighting up again in slow, alternate time intervals. Series of pictures were appearing on Cantis' monitor, this sometimes happened at night, slide shows would play on his screen; to some people it might appear as a malfunction, but to others it would be considered as 'dreaming'. Not many people knew this, but Canti took pictures of things that he saw during the day. They were always of people, places, or things that he had seen in the past, the reason for taking such pictures was unknown beyond his processing, but the most logical explanation was for nostalgic reasons.

A picture of one of the aisles in Gokurousan was displayed, showing a boy reaching for a candy bar while his mother was not looking, a cat was presented as it had looked up to the tall mechanical being, a picture of the train tracks then appeared, then a later shot of Naotas' school when more of the students were there. The photos were highly detailed, capturing instant moments of peoples lives from a different angle and the edges were slightly curved outward, giving the picture a rounded look; this was due to the curvature of Cantis screen. A picture of Naota came up as he was running to school; a look of determination and frustration was drawn on his face. Then a photo of Naota and Kamon appeared as they were arguing, they both had their hands firmly pressed on the table as if trying to hold their ground except for Naota who had one of his arms pulled back as he had waved it in emphasis; his face was contorted into an expression of mid-yell and anger while Kamon had a smug look on his face, like the argument was some kind of game to him.

Pictures of the 'train couple' then appeared, one was of the two as they were holding each other close, another as they were leaning towards each other, then as they were holding hands and walking away. The girl seemed to be the main focus of the photos because her body was more towards the center in most of them, and the lighting that was present made it look like she was glowing. The last photo of the couple was the one where the girl had looked back at Canti. He had been able to catch the brief and enchanting smile that she had cast to him, the look in her eyes made it seem as if she wanted to whisper some well-kept secret to the robot, but not wanting to leave the comfort of her boyfriends' arm that he had just placed over her shoulders. What that secret was, he would probably never find out, but at least he had the picture.

The final photo to be unconsciously displayed was the one that he had taken of Lucy as he had exited the store. The checkout girls bright eyes were focused only on him as if he was the most important thing at that instant and her lips were lifted up in a positive fold, her polite smile which was infections and the robot secretly hoped she gave it just to him. Delicate hands were folded in her lap as she stood and waited for him to exit before she was to continue with her work and her head was tilted just slightly to the side so it gave her the look of innocence rather than the instant beauty and perfection which she usually emanated.

The last few seconds of Cantis' dream was spent fading out the last photo that he chose to recall, making the room enter darkness once again. The last thing being visible on the screen was Lucys' smile.

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**Authors Note:**That was the first chapter of my FLCL fanfic, not much to say except…I'm tired…and that I love Canti-sama. I swear that the later chapters will get more interesting, this was more of an intro so that you all get an idea of how I view Canti. Tell me what you guys think and for those of you who don't know a lot about the Japanese language, here's a MJL (Mini Japanese Lesson)!

Gokurousan – it's a phrase said after you do hard work, so the policy at 'Gokurousan Quickie Mart' is to work very hard  
Ohaiyou goizamasu – it means good morning, the "goizamasu" adds emphasis to it; pronounced (O-hi-yo Goy-za-mas)

_Stay tuned for chapter two, "Retrieving Lost Data"; Mamimi comes into the picture!_


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